What to do...

It's a bit unreal how things go sometimes. I've had an interesting 2010 so far. I ran into some health issues after not taking care of myself for many, many years. I'm thinking that living a rather sedentary lifestyle, smoking a pack day since I was 18 yrs. old, drinking tons of coffee and probably not having the best diet finally caught up with me.

The one positive is that I wasn't afraid to tell my doctor of everything that was physically bugging me. Boy oh boy did I open up and admit things that I never thought I would. Talk about opening up a can of worms. LOL. Since the middle of February I've had a regular stress test, a nuclear stress test, a CT scan, two ultrasounds and have filled plenty of vials with my blood. I am now taking a couple of blood pressure pills in the morning along with a low-dose aspirin to regulate my BP plus some cholesterol meds to regulate that as well. LOL. Sheesh this stuff better work. Plus I even stopped smoking 26 days ago. Hopefully on May 4th I will start seeing some progress. Not seeing or feeling it yet.

Even with the discovery of something that totally has shaken my faith in the opposite sex and makes me wonder when I will ever believe or buy into the romantic ideal I'm still trying to stay positive. I have to admit there are moments that I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. WHY ME? ARE PEOPLE THIS MEAN? IS THERE SUCH A THING AS INTEGRITY? IS IT ALL BS? I know deep down that I am only thinking this way because it is too fresh. It is too new. I'll get through it. I will get back to rambling on coherently and not so coherently and make myself actually laugh at loud at how quirky I look at things at times. I will get there! I will get there! I will be there!!!